Tuesday, June 15

How do you feel when you know that your life is going to have this major change you always wanted… after two days?

I actually asked myself that question this morning, as I finished my Chemistry final… I have nothing left in my school life, but my next Physics final, next Wednesday.

I smelled the freedom, mixed with my fear; fear of the anonymous.

Spontaneously, I started to have a flash back of every special moment in my life, the sweet and the bitter moments. I started to remember all these special events I wished that I could always remember, but never did…
The 1st words I read in a school book, 12 years ago, Dar, Door [house, houses, the 1st two words in the Iraqi 1st grade reading book] are still in my vision, I still remember their font, I still hear the echo of Miss Sabeeha’s voice in my ear, when she was pronouncing the words carefully in my reading book.
I can never forget the 1st friend I had in my life and our friendship-forever oath… And my 1st look at the 2nd grade arithmetic school book, it was love at first sight.
I would never forget the excitement of Miss Awatif [my 3rd Grade Math Teacher] to listen to me telling her the 1st 10 integer square roots. I felt I was the king of the world.
As I started to restore my memories, I felt all those feelings I thought I would never remember… my shyness to stand before the pupils to read my favorite poems, my pride when I was elected “the ideal pupil” of 6th grade, the first time I knew what is to be in love…
I couldn’t believe that life was moving that fast, I have [almost] finished the most important period of my life
It seemed that I was carried away by my feelings; I didn’t pay attention to the traffic jam this time, I didn’t even notice the noise of the US helicopters raping the silence of our skies.
I still can’t find out how strange it is, to lose your memories by time. I couldn’t believe that I actually forgot the hatred we –students– felt against our teachers as they were pushing us to become Ba’athists.
I still meet the same faces everyday… in the school, in the street, at work… everywhere…
I think I just woke up… with a despaired scream of “what the hell has happened here?”
Now I have a new schedule…
June 16, end of finals, senior year… I’m outta high school.
June 17, kick bremer's ass, free the world.